It's the season to be jolly.

December is around the corner again in Belfast.

For the Dutch this month meant that Sinterklaas would bring us gifts if we were good kids. We sang in anticipation and put out our shoe, with a carrot for his horse, and rush to bed because he will not come when the kiddies are awake.

The next morning we will find a heap of presents and candy. As we get older, the belief in the man fades but we still want to celebrate the day so we make up surprises for the people in your family. You will get a random picked name and you'll buy that person a gift and write a poem that contains a funny story or something that they will recognise in themselves when reading.

Sadly I am not able to participate in this any more since I live in Belfast but my mother was so kind to send me all the good candy related to this. Chocolate letters, speculaas, pepernoten and strooigoed.

But how do the Dutch celebrate Christmas. I cannot tell you what the real Dutch tradition is but I can tell you how we would celebrate it at home.

We do not put up our Christmas tree until after Sinterklaas leaves. So the 7th of December is usually the time to bring out the Christmas decorations. My family tree has decorations that are over 62 years old. We inherited them from my father's mother. And each year some break when setting up the tree, so we buy new decorations to replace the broken ones.

My mother usually buys kerststerren for our house and as gifts for relatives. I really love these red flowers and they make a beautiful centrepiece. 

 The Christmas wreath will be hanged on the door and we start writing our cards for friends and family. We start early because our postal services is crammed with mail during this season and you want everyone to get their card on time. 

One Christmas eve we would sometimes go to evening mass and wish everyone a happy holidays while my father would cook a nice dinner. It is my dad's tradition to always cook the dinners for Christmas. Rabbit stew, tenderloin, haricot verts wrapped with bacon, potato balls and poached pears.

After we ate that amount of food we still manage to stuff ourselves with Vienetta ice cream cake. For us Dutch it is the season of food. 

Christmas day usually starts with a special breakfast with croissants and luxurious bread and cold cuts and if you didn't go to church the evening before we would go for the morning mass. Lunch is also very heavy and dinner will be the same as the evening before but then with different meat like steak and game meat. 

We would then watch the Christmas movies our channels would serve us or play boardgames.

Second day of Christmas, or Boxing day, you would go visit your grandparents or visit the in-laws and have the same food-fest all over again. We would sometimes go out to a fancy restaurant.

But we end up looking like this man after three days of eating. ;)

'Just one wafer-thin mint'

Happy 100 Days part 1

My co-worker Anneke gave me the idea to do the happy 100 days photo challenge. It is a good way to keep me blogging and give you guys a little peek in my life ;).

1. Shopping at the Asian supermarket. My mother keeps sending me spices and sauces because some stores here in Northern Ireland are too pricey for a noodle & rice nut like myself. I knew that there was an Asian Supermarket on Ormeau Road in Belfast but I never got off my lazy butt to go there. Well this Saturday I went and arrived in heaven. They even have Ketjap Manis and bake your own prawn crackers :3. I just miss Lemper but I will eat that again when I am home, I could make it myself but I am too lazy :P.

2. Happy Noodle - The Noodle Bowl. Right across the supermarket is a little Chinese dim sum take out and they offer a nice noodle bowl with dim sum. I had the King Prawn - Beef dim sum. It was fantastic! I will be dropping by there more often when I get my monthly Asian shopping.

3. Bargain shopping on games. The Final Fantasy series are the only games I pre-order but the rest I try to get on bargain price. Managed to snag up the 3DS version of the Hobbit for £10, which has an Bilbo Baggins Lego figurine in it too. I find it a fun challenge to find games at a nice price. Now to find time to play it XD.

4. Books - Ender's game (currently). I am a book nut. My dream is to have library with a nice big comfy chair and from ceiling to floor bookcases filled with books. In the Netherlands I have a collection of books that I hope to bring to Belfast one day and here I have some books to keep me comfort. I do not stick with one genre, I try to get a taste of many types: from Sci-Fi to history; from thrillers to fantasy. Paper books are the best but I also own a Kindle, it is my library on the go. 

Bullying - when does it end?

I am writing this blog entry after the events that happened in my country which led to the death of a boy, and bullying might be the cause of  the killing.

Sometimes when bullied a victim will feel so cornered that it will lead to a physical fight and it ended with the one kid stabbing the other one to death. Settling bullying with violence is not the way but I pity all the parties involved in this tragedy: the dead boy, the one who stabbed him and their families. Saying that is served him right is not the way and it makes you a bit of a bully too.

I was mercilessly bullied in high school for four years. They didn't like the good grades I got, they didn't like the way that I looked or acted and told me day in and day out I should just kill myself. I would be beaten with books in class, but the thing that hurt me the most is when the teacher was looking at me while I was being beaten and wouldn't say a word. These people also terrorised some teachers of mine, just because they looked like pushovers.

I hated going to sleep because that means the next day will be another school day. Sometimes I cursed at myself for waking up the next day, if only I died it would have been better.

Then in my last year I snapped. During gym class one of my bullies kept tackling me with a hockey stick and slammed my head into the wall when the teacher wasn't looking. The others just laughed. That moment in the changing room something broke inside me. Those four years of suffering came out in a massive wave of anger and hate. Next class up was History and I just walked in the room and threw down my bag and started punching the guy on his face. My teacher pulled me off him and sent us both to the principal's office.

I was sitting in the hallway, fuming mad, and he was sitting next to me bawling his eyes out. The principle found out what has been going on and the bully cried that he did not knew what kind of effect it had on me...No shit Sherlock.

It ended there, my high school terror, after four years. My trust in people was broken, even if I didn't get bullied after that in school I still expected it to happen. Making friends was hard, trusting people was tough.

But there the tragedy did not end because five years ago a co-worker of mine was being bullied by others and I stood up for her because I couldn't take it. I was angry that people did not change even when grown up. In the end they started to target me and I because I did not fix the wounds I had from the past, I collapsed. It ended up with me being on sick-pay for a year with burn-out and depression.

I just lied on my bed and wished I did not wake up again the next day because that meant I had to go to the office again. I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I just wanted to vanish. I left my job with more broken trust and hurt and fell into addiction to be able to feel anything. I did not do substance-abuse but my fear was that one day if I could no longer hide away the pain I would drink or drug myself to death.

Then I went into therapy, intensive therapy. Just talking to a psychologist did not work. I needed my feelings out without exploding in massive anger and rage. The drama therapy I received helped me a lot, it helped my to cope with my anger and distrust, it helped me voice the pain I have felt for over twenty. And I finally started to see that I was okay, okay to be on this earth as a person. That it is not wrong to fight for things that you feel that is wrong. Trust grew in me again, I started reaching out to my family and friends again who I pushed away so often in the past.

And then it happened again.

Someone being targeted by people at the work floor, they did not do it in the person's face but behind their backs and I was sick and tired of it. I thought, I hated it when it happened to me, I don't want it to happen with another person.

But this time I was prepared, I had training on how to handle my emotions and I called those people out on how black they were in their hearts and souls on doing this to someone. And I was stronger in the fight. I won, the bullies hated me for it, but I did not care. Because I won my personal battle in this.

The problem is that bullying does not end in school, it can continue when you are an adult. Having bully-protocols at school does not work either because they become active after it happened. Parents and schools need to be pro-active towards bullying and point out to the kids what kind of effect bullying has on people, because the scarring is a long-term problem. We need to act to prevent tragedies like the school stabbing of last week from ever happening again. I know it is a long shot but the attitude of us as caretakers has to change.

Review: Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call

I love the Final Fantasy series. I have many versions on several different platforms, even purchased Final Fantasy V on the Kindle a few weeks ago.

So I got this game for my 3DS XL five days ago and already spent over 6 hours on it. The good thing about this game is that it's portable. I took it with me when getting my morning tea & scone at the Dock or while I was waiting for my friend in the park. That is why I always have preferred the Nintendo handhelds over the any other handheld, even the smartphone. The games are fun and more entertaining, it doesn't need lifelike graphics for me, when the entertainment value is high I am sold.

Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call is the sequel to the rhythm action game Theatrhythm Final Fantasy for the Nintendo 3DS. It retains the "theater rhythm action" gameplay in which players use the stylus to tap and hold notes while fighting enemies. 

Failing notes results in the loss of HP, with the stage ending in a Game Over if the party's HP is depleted. There are three different stages: the Field Music Sequence, Event Music Sequence and Battle Music Sequence.

So in the Field Music you either travel the map with a chance to summon a chocobo or travel an airship and if you time your notes right can travel great distances before the song is over.

The Battle Music stage is where you beat enemies and obtain treasures which can be used in the stage or upgrade your characters.

For the Event Music stage you will unlock the movies from various Final Fantasy titles and you can view them in the Theatre. I still get goosebumps when I see the opening movies for Final Fantasy XI and XIV.

The game has over 200 songs and more than 60 characters and has a special versus mode that you can challenge others to a music duel. So you will play the same song and aim to get a higher score than you opponent. while inflicting statuses to them to make it harder.

Everything is done in increments. The player must to play single player mode songs and earn points to unlock every game mode, as well as options within each mode. The same goes for songs.

My current team consists of Cloud Strife, Prishe, Y'shtola & Balthier. I started out using the buttons more then the stylus but button-style playing is impossible when you go to advance and expert mode songs. Also I was afraid I would rip off the top of my analogue stick like some of the players in Japan (they have this issue with Super Smash Bros. on the 3DS). And the 3DS is designed for stylus abuse. 

The level of the character has nothing to with the skill of your opponent. I managed to beat a lvl 99 with my level 14 because my status trigger were lucky and I had more criticals then he or she did.

I really really love this game. Shame I never had to chance to play the previous version but I will try to get my hands on it one day.

Time flies

I have been super busy with work, moving and then the holidays came and now it is almost the end of September.

What the hell happened here?!

Two days ago I celebrated my 1 year anniversary in Belfast. 

Time certainly flew in that. 

I've been enjoying my life steadily here, of course with some bumps and humps on the path of life but it still going well. 

I am currently working on my trainers-program and looking for a new place to live in February. But I feel that I finally created my place in this town, at this job.

My family spent the summer vacation here with me and we travelled all over County Antrim to soak up the Irish nature and culture. Yes, this is a beautiful place. 

A good friend of mine graced me with a visit and we battled the weather gods at the Giant's Causeway. In the end I didn't even care any more how wet I had gotten.

During this year here, I laughed, I cried, I got angry but never lost my head. I stayed true to my values and beliefs and it might have given me some problems, in the end it was worth it.

As one of my favourite politicians once said:

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

I am slowly going to return to blogging, keeping everyone updated on my life and other fun stuff I do :D. 

Living my Belfast life 05 (English-Dutch)

After the rush of the holidays, the normal every day pace is settling in. People returning back to work and we trudge along.

I while ago I noticed a pain in my chest, and due to my family's medical history I was quite worried. I don't want to end up with a heart attack too in my mid-thirties. Skin complexion is not weird, no sweating (I know symptoms for heart problems is not the same for women as for men), just bending over and sitting down gives me sharp pains. It lasted for 3 days and then went away.

Yesterday it came back an hour or so when I have eaten a certain type of food. And if finally hit me, I have heartburn problems :/. It can be either the potato salad, tomato soup or the Irish sausage rolls.

I had been complaining before about the limited choice of vegetables here in Belfast. I am not a great fan of cabbage, turnips we barely use in the Netherlands and carrots are nice but eating it every day in and out get very boring. So I have been eating without much variation, lots of tomatoes and pastas and now my stomach is acting up on me. I've always had problems with too salty foods or food that contain preservatives. So I asked my good old friend Google to find me a green grocer. And what do you know, there is one around the corner at my work. I really missed eating fresh cauliflower, chicory, spinach, broad beans, etc. Maybe I should just like eating salads because that's what you find in Tesco, M&S, Sainsburys and ASDA but those good old fresh Dutch veggies are not to be found in the regular supermarkets.

And if anyone can tell me anything better to do with turnips than roasting them with honey, I don't like my vegetables sugary-sweet :/, I will be happy to eat those from now on.

----

Na de drukte van de feestdagen, begint het normale leventje weer. Mensen keren weer terug naar het werk en we modderen ieder dag weer aan.

En tijdje geleden voelde ik een scherpe pijn op de borst, en gezien de medische achtergrond van mijn familie was ik best bezorgd. Ik wil namelijk geen hartaanval als dertiger. Mijn huidskleur was goed en ik zweette niet (ik weet dat de symptomen voor vrouwen anders zijn dan bij de mannen), alleen was het problematisch als ik voorover bukte of ging zitten. Na 3 dagen was het voorbij.

Gisteren kwam het weer terug nadat ik mijn lunch gegeten had en kwam tot de conclusie van opspelend maagzuur. Het kan de kartoffelsalade, tomatensoep of Ierse worstenbroodjes zijn.

De supermarkten hier hebben erg beperkt aanbod aan verse groenten. Kool, knolraap, wortelen en boontjes. Kool vind ik niet lekker, raap weet ik niet hoe goed klaar te maken en wortelen en boontjes komen nu mijn neus uit. Ik merk dat ik veel pastas met tomatensaus eet en daar zit ook veel zuur in dus mijn maag raakt om het minste geringste overstuur. Gelukkig heeft mijn goede vriend Google een groentenboer gevonden en die zit toevallig om de hoek bij mijn werk. Ik mis mijn witlof, bloemkool, verse spinazie en tuinbonen (ik weet dat een aantal van mijn vrienden zullen walgen met deze gedachten).

Komende tijd ga ik dus geen koolzuurhoudende dranken drinken, minderen op de tomatensaus en zeker eventjes niet meer naar de chipshop om mijn maag wat rust te geven en weer op een normaal balans te brengen. Ik was normaal al gevoeliger voor te zout eten en eten met conserveringsmiddelen. Misschien moet ik maar met een boer trouwen :P.

My Irish Christmas and New Year.

Holy moly December came and flew out the window again. I've been too busy with organising stuff and working to keep  up with my blog. Sorry for that =___=.

I didn't have the chance to go home for Christmas/New Years like some of my other co-workers and I ended up celebrating my holidays with my landlady and her family.

I really appreciated that they welcomed me in their family for this holiday. In the past I have spent Christmas in America, but this was different. That time I had my boyfriend but this time I felt a bit homesick. Those mushy commercials of Tesco or Sainsburys didn't help either xD.

I didn't come empty handed, I gave her a nice bottle of wine and she, to my surprise, gave me some bootsies and a hat for my Blythe and chocolates. Also received some chocolates from her parents.

For dinner we had the traditional turkey and ham with Brussels sprouts, turnip and mashed potatoes. The trifle was also very delicious. Afterwards the whole family watched the X-mas special of Coronation Street while I was watching the X-mas special of Doctor Who on the Kindle.

I took it easy on Boxing Day due to a massive headache from stress the prior week for Christmas but it was just eating and watching tv, just like home ;).

New Year's eve was nice and quiet. No fireworks :D. We had planned a fancy dinner at the Stormont hotel and I had the Seafood chowder (in a breadbowl) and the Irish burger with chips. I would have picked the curry but I know they tend to go a little overboard on the peppers and my gut-feeling was right lol.

We spent the rest of the evening, listening to the live music in the lounge and did the countdown with the singers. Afterwards we sang Auld Lang Syne. Rolled in bed at 1:30am because I had to work in the morning ;). No rest for the wicked.

2013 had a very rough start for me but it turned out okay in the end. I wonder what 2014 will bring.